candy corn candy corn candy cornc andy corn--

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This morning, I was on Facebook. I was just scrolling, you know, looking at all the pictures of people I knew in college in engagement photos, 'I'm having a child' photos, things like that. Facebook memories popped up, and what Aurora of two years ago thought about October:
Because man, I fucking love candy corn. Candy corn is one of my favorite kinds of candy. My number one is obviously Bottlecaps (even though the one place in town that fucking sold them hasn't restocked them and I am afraid that they no longer sell them, god damn it Dollar General), but after that it's candy corn. Then probably those chalk-y Valentine's day sweethearts, and Mike'n'Ikes, and Hot Tamales, and cherry sours, and fucking GUSHERS--

But I love candy corn. I love candy corn with all my heart and soul, at least that that is not taken over by Bottlecaps.

I remember when I was a freshman in college, my grandma gave me this fucking, like, seven pound bag of candy corn. It was a mistake, because I ate that seven pound bag of candy corn in like two weeks. I'm not kidding. I put it out in our little communal room, because when I had roommates in college there were always four of us so we had two bedrooms and a middle room, but it was me who ate about 89% of that candy corn, I guaran-fuckin-tee-it.

So I'm ready for a portion of my grocery bill and by that I mean possibly my entire grocery bill to go toward candy corn this month. My blood will be sugar and I will probably lose a foot to diabetes. I am ready. Bring the candy corn.

Also, Dollar General, for the love of god please restock the Bottlecaps.

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