impulse control: i don't have much
So I'm getting a tattoo next week.
First one. I always used to say to pretty much anyone whenever tattoos came up that if I got a tattoo it would probably be a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, because that tends to be how I make decisions, if I'm making something I have to live with, I can't think about it. I just have to sit down and be like "this is what's happening." That's how I quit my last job. I was like, I'm gonna be done April 23 and then I was done April 23 even though in hindsight sometimes I regret it, it fucking happened.
So yesterday I was in a town with a tattoo shop to go and talk to some people about some writing I'm gonna be doing for them, and since I was early based on who I am as a person, I decided to park at the library I used to work at and walk there. I did so, and on the walk past, I walked past the tattoo shop. I walked past, paused, thought "what the hell", and the next thing I knew, I had 20$ down and an appointment next Wednesday at ten in the morning.
I mean, I've always been tempted to go and get a tattoo. But the thing is, I've never just--gone. Which is how I have to do things. I don't do anticipation well. I can't handle that. When I'm in a situation I'm chill, anticipation is what kills me. So I guess probably next Tuesday I'll be useless at work because I'll have all that shit rolling around in my stomach because I've never gotten a tattoo before I mean it's in a good spot for a first tattoo but what if what if what if, you know, all that stupid shit that comes up in your head when you're nervous. But I put 20$ down. There's no backing out.
There's a real freedom to impulsivity. There's danger too, obviously, but there's such a light feeling in your diaphragm when you decide to just do something spur-of-the-moment. This is like, probably not a great feeling to chase, but at this point, rent's cheap, I don't spend that much on food, I don't have any dependents--student loans, yeah, those are pretty much my big and only thing I have to worry about. Obviously like, I pay my rent and my electricity and my internet, but honestly my rent is only a hundred more than my student loan payment every month. And I'm making bank at my new job.
Also, said writing gig I was in town for in the first place. So I guess probably if there's a time to be stupid-impulsive and get a fucking Misfits tattoo, it is probably now.
First one. I always used to say to pretty much anyone whenever tattoos came up that if I got a tattoo it would probably be a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, because that tends to be how I make decisions, if I'm making something I have to live with, I can't think about it. I just have to sit down and be like "this is what's happening." That's how I quit my last job. I was like, I'm gonna be done April 23 and then I was done April 23 even though in hindsight sometimes I regret it, it fucking happened.
So yesterday I was in a town with a tattoo shop to go and talk to some people about some writing I'm gonna be doing for them, and since I was early based on who I am as a person, I decided to park at the library I used to work at and walk there. I did so, and on the walk past, I walked past the tattoo shop. I walked past, paused, thought "what the hell", and the next thing I knew, I had 20$ down and an appointment next Wednesday at ten in the morning.
I mean, I've always been tempted to go and get a tattoo. But the thing is, I've never just--gone. Which is how I have to do things. I don't do anticipation well. I can't handle that. When I'm in a situation I'm chill, anticipation is what kills me. So I guess probably next Tuesday I'll be useless at work because I'll have all that shit rolling around in my stomach because I've never gotten a tattoo before I mean it's in a good spot for a first tattoo but what if what if what if, you know, all that stupid shit that comes up in your head when you're nervous. But I put 20$ down. There's no backing out.
There's a real freedom to impulsivity. There's danger too, obviously, but there's such a light feeling in your diaphragm when you decide to just do something spur-of-the-moment. This is like, probably not a great feeling to chase, but at this point, rent's cheap, I don't spend that much on food, I don't have any dependents--student loans, yeah, those are pretty much my big and only thing I have to worry about. Obviously like, I pay my rent and my electricity and my internet, but honestly my rent is only a hundred more than my student loan payment every month. And I'm making bank at my new job.
Also, said writing gig I was in town for in the first place. So I guess probably if there's a time to be stupid-impulsive and get a fucking Misfits tattoo, it is probably now.
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