fmk: my favorite historical figures edition

les trois:

my boy ulysses s grant

sir 'the rime of the ancient mariner was so metal' himself, samuel taylor coleridge 

camilllllllllllllllllllllllle desmoulins

I'm gonna get this out of the way immediately, and it is that I'm ending up killing Ulysses, because even though I love him, his entire life was mired in tragedy and I don't want to be another one of those people around him who just died, also he was only good at drinking and being a general in the Civil War, so, good-bye, Ulysses, I'm sorry, I love you.

Now it gets a little bit trickier. Let's get this straight--I have recently been swept up in my love for Camille Desmoulins. Camille is maybe the most obscure of the three I've got up here, but he was one of the major journalists/propagandists in the French Revolution. On July 12, 1989, he leaped on a table and started yelling, and lo and behold, his stutter that had made it kinda rough to make work as a lawyer disappeared, and also his terrible temper worked well here, too.He was beheaded in '94 with the other Dantonists at 34. His wife followed a week after, leaving their infant child to be raised by an aunt or something. 

I fuckin love Camille Desmoulins. He was all about that free speech, he was a childhood/school friend of Robespierre and that is definitely why he lasted as long as he did, and I love him. However. I'm gonna go with fuck, because of that whole, proclivity to be beheaded thing, you know? And him and his wife, man--she was beheaded a week after him because she was caught on conspiracy to break him out, and when he heard that she was going to be executed, too, he freaked out and fought them the whole way to the guillotine. And this wasn't the little bitch way Robespierre fought his way to the guillotine. This was for love, man. This was for love. 

God, I love Camille Desmoulins.

So that leaves us with Coleridge. And like, apart from that whole crippling laudanum addiction, I would mostly like to save him from that really Jesus-y bitch he ended up marrying, because the Rime of the Ancient Mariner is fine, Sarah, stop trying to make him make everything Jesus-y, he writes such cool metal shit. Also even after he stopped writing poetry he was a really successful critic and stuff, so it would probably be the most stable, despite the fact that then I'd have to hang out with Wordsworth but it's like whatever, man. So we're marrying Coleridge. 

In conclusion: 

F: Camille

M: Coleridge

K: my boy ulysses