Aurora Dimitre's Books and Rambling

I broke my Walkman on Tuesday. I just kept accidentally chucking it at the ground. You may be asking, "Aurora, who the fuck listens to cassettes anymore?" to which I answer "Shut up", and something about method writing, but the major consequence of this is that I can't just listen to Master of Puppets, the Black Album, and Ride the Lightning on repeat, because those are albums I only have on cassette. So I'm back to CDs. This is just like that episode of Degrassi where Spinner breaks his Discman and is like "Man, I'm back to cassettes!" which really spurs on his jealousy of Drake's new digital music player (was it an early iPod? I think it was an early iPod), except not, because it's the opposite, and also Spinner had an excuse, because it was like 2003 in that episode. Side note, the dude who played Spinner also played a drug addict who killed himself in juvie in a movie called Dog Pound, which I think is kinda fun. Anyway. Since I...

I mean, this isn't like, I'm in a writing slump or anything cause I straight-up just don't believe in writing slumps. There's been times where I really haven't been feeling my project and I sat down and pumped out three pages anyway. Believe me, I'd love to be writing right now. It's just that I'm in research mode--I've got two and a half more books to read. And when I'm done with that, it's not even writing time yet. After that it's 'somehow smash these two first drafts into one first draft' time. And then it's... retyping? I don't even know. I did a weird thing with this project, and for some reason, I've decided that instead of letting it rest like I normally do and like is normally recommended for writing projects, I need to go straight back in. This is a need. I've noticed, though, in not actually writing or working on anything where I actually put words on the page that aren't scribbled notes in margins...

Almost Home was hard. Devil's Knot was hard (and infuriating, the amount of times I had to just. put the book down and stare at the ceiling for a while was actually astounding, as were the amount of times I just wrote 'bitch' or 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' in the margins). But somehow, Dark Spell has been the hardest to get through. I'm not saying it's bad because it's not, when I mean the worst one I mean it gives me anxiety. At this point I'm about fifty pages in, and it is rough. I'm finding myself skimming, a little. But it's not like a 'I want this to be over' skim, unless it sort of is--what I mean is, it's more of a 'I don't think my heart can take reading every word' kind of skim. I'm not even in the really bad part yet, this is still pre-trial. This case is kind of emotionally ruining me, to be completely honest, but the prospect of caring about something so much keeps me solidly in. And like, if it starts...