Why I Like Stupid Shit

I have always been good at school. I have always been writing, and reading and, if my cumulative GPA does anything for me, it’s to say that I’m pretty academically smart. I don’t really know just how true this is (my high school is notoriously terrible, and it’s not really that impressive to be the valedictorian in a class of four when two of them have or have had parole officers), but for the purposes of this argument I’m smart. And I’m an English major—but my favorite author is Stephen King.

            That’s not even the stupidest shit I like, though, because even some English professors will admit that King’s a good writer. But I like him. I also love the hell out of those terrible horror novels from the ‘90s—that RL Stine, Christopher Pike, Point Horror kind of stuff. In addition—my favorite movies are horror movies, comedies, ones that star Keanu Reeves. I love South Park. The music I’ve been listening to lately? 3OH!3 baybee. Basically, what I’m getting at is I am not into things that take themselves too seriously. And that’s kind of my whole problem with any media. I don’t like pretention and I don’t like it when things or people take themselves too seriously.

            Take 3OH!3 for example. For those who don’t know, 3OH!3 is a electronic, crunk core kind of duo from Colorado. The members, Sean Foreman and Nathanial Motte, both have their bachelors’; Foreman in English (with a math minor), and Motte in some biology shit (and he was accepted into med school). These are obviously smart guys. They also make some of the stupidest music on the planet. It’s party anthem style, misogynistic, catchy music. It’s funny. It’s just about impossible to be completely still while listening to the music.

            The point I was trying to make with this is that these are people who are intelligent. These are people who could have gone on to be a doctor and, I dunno, Foreman was an English major, but they decided to make stupid music instead. They decided that joy was more important than something important, and I can dig that. I really can.

            Like I said—I write. I write novels, mostly. The most fun I’ve had is writing this splatter-fest called The Horror at Camp New Woods. Another one that I had a lot of fun writing was One More Sad Song, which is set in 2004 and has a dude-saying, skateboard-riding, closeted gay kid as the lead. The manuscript features likes like, “The Matrix isn’t real, Kevin,” and a crises over whether a character really looks all that much like Jake Gyllenhaal. These things are fun. I’m sure if I wanted to I could write something serious, something ~literary~, but I don’t give a shit about serious or literary. Even fantasy I have a rough time with; it’s too serious for me. And are some things serious? Yes. But if you lose the stupid shit, you lose the joy.

            I love climbing trees. I’m twenty years old, this is just straight-up dumb. But it’s fun. It’s what makes me happy. And if I can get a little serious here in what makes life mean anything, it’s gonna be happiness. What makes me happy is the song “My Dick” by the band 3OH!3 and books by Stephen King about killer clowns, and I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t because it’s really goddam stupid. Because to be honest who really cares?